the funk has lifted!!!

i am so happy to report that the funk is gone!

i just got back from three days fishing up in the driftless region of wisconsin and am so happy to report that on day three the fog lifted and i am now finally feeling like me.  pfew!  i was starting to get a little worried!  

look at this amazing foam line!  sure i did not catch any fish on this run but i had so much fun working on my cast and just enjoying being outside immersed in nature... 

in terms of the baby making process, i am hoping to have my second round of IUI either this weekend or early next week.  going in for my ultrasound and blood work tomorrow.  fingers crossed that everything looks good.

as for the results related to the percentages.  i am still waiting to learn more but overall, not so bueno.  the nurse did say that my percentages are higher than most women my age which was even more shocking to me.  hello learning curve thank you for blowing my mind around every corner!

i am seeing a lot of similarities between working to become a mom and fishing.  you do the best you can - or even be perfect in your cast and rigging - but there is no guarantee that you will have success.  the fish may be there but they might just not be feeding at that moment or dozens of other factors that cannot be controlled - read: that i cannot control.  in this space of fishing i am working to be better able to give up that need for control so i am able to just enjoy the process, knowing how happy i will be when i land that fish that may be 3 or 30 inches.

while the differences are very obvious between the two, i think that the beauty and grandeur of nature around me while fishing parallels the magic that occurs inside my body as i try to create this little miracle.  sure the latter is harder for me to grasp because i cannot see it and it is even harder for me to understand but the former gives me hope and a sense of faith and trust in the process which i think will help me maintain the strength i need to embrace this process.

feels good to be back.  really good.